This is How it Starts Jily
by thestormsinside
Summary: For a long time, Lily has been warming up to James, and now, finally, they seem to be on the tipping point of something ... better.
1. Chapter 1

It was Friday, early December, and Lily Evans was fed up. Tonight, everyone seemed to be trying to sneak out of their dorms to go and do something, and she was tired of the whining that received her finding them.

"But we weren't doing anything _wrong_!" Two Hufflepuff fifth year girls were currently moaning.

"Go back to you dorms," Lily sighed, and ran a hand through her hair, before quickly snatching it out. The habit was something she was picking up from James, something he did when he was stressed or nervous.

"Why? All we want is to see-" Irritated, she pointed her wand at the two girls, who shrunk back into the stone wall. An elderly man in the painting beside them opened his eyes and peered at the scene with interest.

"20 points from Hufflepuff-" "_What?_" "- And if you're back in your common room in ten minutes it'll be another 20. So I suggest you go. Now." With resentful looks darted at her, the girls ran off down the corridor. Lily slumped into a seat below the window, placing her wand beside her and her head in her hands. There was a low throbbing in her brain and she felt exhausted.

With the Christmas holidays looming, she was more on edge than ever. Petunia's wedding overshadowed any fun she could have gotten from the break. The thought of seeing her sister, and her revolting husband, had Lily in turmoil. A nasty, malicious thought had been lurking in the back of her mind for a while, suggesting, slyly, that she didn't go, that she faked some horrible magical illness that would prevent her attending. Deep down, she knew that if she did this, it would be the end of (not that there was much left to cling onto) their relationship, and she wouldn't do that to their mother.

"Well played Evans," Grabbing her wand she shot up.

"Lumos!" In the dark, a tall, lank figure light up, the blue-ish glow reflecting his smile and big, brown eyes. Lily's heart faltered, but she ignored it.

"Merlin James, you almost petrified me," He took a step closer, grinning.

"Ah well, there's always tomorrow," She rolled her eyes, the familiar pine tree smell relaxing her a little. When she sat back down, he sat behind her, arm draped over the window ledge, fingers almost brushing her shoulder. She shivered.

"I thought you were dealing with the other side of the castle tonight?" Attempting to sound normal, she raised an eyebrow at him and quipped. James shook his head, strand of nut brown, unruly hair falling across his forehead. The urge to brush them back forced her to clasp her hands together in her lap, and glancing down the dark hall, she hoped that she wasn't blushing.

"Ah well, I thought you could use some company," he slide down in the seat, arm resting on her shoulders and the bare skin on the back of her neck. Lily thanked Merlin he didn't have his sleeves pushed back. "But you were holding up fine, terrorising the younger community," The last comment was graced with a smile from Lily, but in doing so she turned back to face him, and was drawn in by the fact he had pushed his glasses up and there was a spattering of freckles on his nose that she hadn't seen before.

"You know me, cruel as they come," it wasn't until after she had spoken that she realised how hoarse her voice sounded and James, pushing his glasses back down, ran his eyes over her in concern.

"Are you alright Lil?" He sat up straighter and recoiled his arm, gazing at her earnestly. Lily shook her head and smiled, picking up her wand and rising.

"I'm fine. Just cold, that's all," the utter lack of conviction made her stomach drop and James stood up and stepped close to her, taking hold of her shoulders and bending his knees to look her in the eyes.

"Give over Evans, you're not fooling anyone," and smiled lopsidedly. Lily's heart gave an awful squeeze and seemed to shudder, and she leant forward and kissed him softly. Her teeth grazed his bottom lip and James seemed to freeze in shock as she pulled away. They stared at each other, Lily utterly dumbfounded by what she had done as a wide grin pulled slowly up James' cheeks. His chestnut eyes glistened as he straightened his legs and look down at her.

"That was unexpected." Lily blurted, and James laughed and it echoed off the walls.

"Yes you're right, it was," She rolled her spring coloured eyes and felt at ease as he cupped her face and brought his lips to hers. Wrapping her arms around his waist her lashes flickered shut and she kissed him harder than before, tongue running over his teeth and mouth and tongue. His hands were warm against her neck and they tangled in her hair.

"Bloody hell," James gasped as she dropped off her tiptoes and leant back, arms still around him as his trailed to her waist. "I don't think I have a very good grip on what the hell's going on in your head," She grinned playfully and stepped back, slipping her wand into her pocket.

"Never mind. I guess you'll just have to work on it," as she began walking, she felt fingers brush against her own and all of a sudden her hand was enveloped in a much larger, warmer one.

"You really are cold. C'mon, let's go back to the common room," a lightness was filling her up, all thoughts of Petunia and the damn wedding driven from her mind as this airy, wonderful feeling similar to flying welled inside her until it bubbled over and she stopped, pressing a hand to her mouth to supress the laughter. James carried on a couple of steps, but, hand still clutching hers, he was pulled around, and was surprised to see Lily staggering back until her back was against the wall, peals of laughter rushing through her fingers, eyes crinkled up and face aglow.

"God … I'm sorry … Sorry!" Eventually, she managed to calm herself, and watched James' delighted expression through tears and deep breaths. He pulled her forward and twirled her around, interlacing their fingers and beaming at her.

"That was interesting," He mused as they walking up the stair case that was thankfully unmoving.

"I know, I'm sorry," She bit her lip, wondering how mental he thought she was. But instead of stepping away, he paused to press his lips to her forehead briefly before dragging her along as he ran up the rest of the steps.

"No no no, it wasn't a bad interesting. I meant it was an: I've-never-seen-that-side-to-Lily-before-and-it's-good-to-know-she's-a-random-fits-of-laughter-kind-of-girl interesting," Lily couldn't cover the giggle at his explanation, but he laughed this time too, and it was comfortable and she felt safe.

The portrait hole appeared as they rounded a corner, and Lily approached it to try to wake the Fat Lady but James caught her wrist and turned her around. For the first time that evening he ran a hand through his sticking up all over the place black hair, and looked uneasy.

"So um I know that I've asked you loads of times before and it used to annoy the hell out of you and we've only been friends for the last year and you never like me very much," Lily smiled gently as James launched into a ramble, "but I don't know if you'd maybe like to go to Hogsmead with me because it's tomorrow and you know you did kiss me and all and-" she flung her hands up in the air to silence him and he stopped, looking mildly sheepish.

"James breathe." He inhaled deeply, staring down at her wide eyed. Lily glanced at the floor before looking back up at him, "And, yes. I'd like to go to Hogsmead with you. Don't do that thing you do sometimes when you feel like you're under tons of pressure and you act like a dick." She turned back around to find the Fat Lady awake and smiling.

"Amorphous." She told her firmly, and with a winning smile, she swung open to reveal an empty common room, with the fire still blazing. Lily stepped in, stretching, and sat down on the sofa before the roaring flame.

"I do not act like a dick," James indignantly pouted as he threw himself into an armchair near her, and she looked at him shrewdly.

"Shut up, you know you do. It's only when you feel like you've got something to prove and you get all over cocky and I want to hex you into oblivion. But you don't do it as much, now," Her last comment seemed to soothe James because he got up and sat down beside her, leaving space between them. Lily slid to the end, rested her back against the arm rest and stretched her legs out so her toes tucked under his legs. James pulled his up, and place one leg either side of hers.

"I'm not that bad Lil. And I promise to be on my best behaviour tomorrow, cross my heart," Laughing, Lily closed her eyes. At the other end of the sofa, there was movement and she felt a weight across her body. James lay his head onto of her ribs below her boobs, and she draped her arm over his shoulders.

"Just five minutes, 'kay?" She murmured, inching down below the comfortable warmth of his weight.

"Alright, five minutes," he pressed his nose against her arm and then she was asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

"Come again?" Lily was laughing, rummaging through her trunk, as her friends perched on the edges of their beds, gazing at her.

"I kissed him, and now we're going on a date," Marlene batted the comment away, rolling onto her back so her rich blonde hair brushed the floor.

"No one's surprised at _that _bit; we're shocked that _you _made the first move!"

"Well, shocked and impressed," Mary added, winking at Lily as she stood up holding a thick black knitted jumper. Alice ran her eyes over it and winced.

"It's so _plain_," she moaned, and Marlene sent a pillow whirling at her head, which received a 'oomf!' when it hit. Flicking her lustrous hair back, she jumped up and span Lily around,

"You'll look perfect!" She grinned, and ran her fingers through the dark red hair, shaking it up. Lily squirmed and got away, tugging on a pair of jeans and her jumper.

"So when are you going?" Mary sat up, regarding Lily with wide, glistening cornflower blue eyes, dancing with mischief.

"I don't know. Last I saw of James he was still asleep on the sofa downstairs. I think Remus is going to try to wake him up," the others nodded and seemed to accept this, but Alice said,

"So where were you? You didn't come upstairs," the dorm room went still. Lily, holding a brush up to her thick, dark red hair, froze. Her hand hung in the air and she could feel her face warming up, eyes darting from window to bed post to poster of the Chudley Cannons waving at her. Alice walked like a tiger across the room, small body muscular and lean in her vest and leggings. Lily shifted, but her tiny friend gripped her firmly and narrowed huge chestnut eyes at her. Mary and Marlene stood on tiptoe, mouths wide, waiting.

"I slept downstairs," Lily blurted eventually, unable to resist the cool demanding of Alice's stare.

"Where James slept?" Alice went on, shaking a strand of her pixie cut hair out of her eye.

"Yes …" the redheads voice had become small, as if she could lessen the weight of her confession but saying it quietly.

"And you two slept …"

"With James leaning on me …"

"Oh Merlin!" "Hah! Five galleons for me!" "Lily!" "I knew it!" "I said December!" "Damnit!"

Lily stood, awestruck, in the middle of a sound explosion she had caused. Alice had released her and the three girls huddled, jumping, as Lily tried to get ready as subtly as possible. She had just finished applying mascara and was pulling some boots out from under her bed when the attention snapped back onto her.

"Where you planning on crawling out?" Marlene stood in front of her friend, hands on hips, gazing down at the girl on the floor.

"No?" Lily replied, attempting to stand up but finding herself being pulled sharply back. Sliding into a bed post, she came face to face with Mary and her honey hair, wand dangling from her fingers.

"No, that's right," swallowing, Lily accepted the impending feeling of dread as Mary sat on her stomach, Alice leant over her face and Marlene grabbed her left hand and began painting her nails a beige colour. "Because you have not given us nearly enough of the details to get you out of that door,"


	3. Chapter 3

The next few weeks passed in a blur. Hogwarts was, in all honesty, a very small place when there was gossip, and Lily kept walking straight into whispers of the new rumour, that the Heads had gotten together, and was therefore in an almost constant state of rosy grinning. Lessons were filled with notes flying and teachers glaring, often holding the Marauders and her friends back, reprimanding them for childish behaviour and telling the Heads that they should be setting a better example. It was clear she was taking after James when, after, giggles consumed her and she had to press her hand over her mouth to conceal it.

It was too much to hope it could last. Even the news of the war reaching them had not been enough to sadden her for long, the snow wasn't making her depressed like normal, and even Slughorn bearing down on her with promises of a Slug Club meeting before Christmas left her feeling light. She could take James. It would be funny. They would leave early after causing chaos.

Severus ruined it all. It was a week before the end of term, a Monday evening, and patrols were quiet. Lily and James had maintained their separate routes, else they ended up snogging somewhere and the castle ran a riot. Clearly he had been watching her, because he knew she would be alone.

He was sitting in an alcove under a window, and made her jump.

"Lily," she span, wand raised, light blaring in his face. A wave of nausea crashed over her as she saw him, and her heart raced in the worst way. But she couldn't be bothered to fight; couldn't be dealing with the fall out. So she lowered her wand and turned away, silently. Seeing Severus made her think of her sister, and her evening had gone up in flames.

"I heard the talk," he raised his voice, walking behind. Lily gritted her teeth, praying that he would go away, feeling anger rise in her throat. "Is it true? That you're with _him_? Lily? Goddamnit Lily!"

"Yes!" Against her better judgement, she whirled, eyes blazing, and screamed. The sound echoed off the walls and many sleeping paintings woke, grumbling. All noise died down when they saw the tense scene before them: the Head Girl, gripping her wand and clenching her fists, and the Slytherin, on the edge of tears, slumping.

"How could you? After all he's-" And there it was. The final, fatal words that destroyed it all.

"After all you've done! People are _dying _Snape, and you, _you_, support Him! You're awful, and evil, and a coward! You're a coward!" Hot, angry tears flooded her cheeks but Lily kept her back painfully straight, chin high, stare strong. Her old friend was crumbling, but Lily was a phoenix. She was right, and it hurt, like a white hot iron to the chest, but she had the right.

"I don't ever want to speak to you again." She spat, and he opened his mouth but she raised her wand. The ribs in her chest felt like they were caving, but she held fast. "Not another word. Ever." Turning once again, she walked at an even pace until she rounded the corner, where she broke into a flat sprint, carrying herself up the stairs and corridors until she burst into the common room.

A very full common room. At least it seemed to be to her. Vision blurred and throat clogged with a scream, she didn't see the friends coming towards her before she toppled back out into the hall and somehow managed to take herself to the astronomy tower. Legs buckling, she concaved into a ball, rocking in a scream of grief.

A hand, large and solid, pressed against her back. For a moment it remained there, and then a deep, rugged voice said,

"I needed a fag anyway, and Mary said you might be here," slowly, fearing some of her emotional pain may have wormed its way out into physical damage, Lily sat up. Sirius was leaning against the railings, blowing clouds of smoke prettily upwards against the dark background. Her eyes felt heavy and sore, and her voice, when she spoke, was hoarse in the cold air.

"I feel like an idiot. I saw Snap, who knows about James and I, and I threatened to curse him and told him how much I loathe him and what a little git he is. And then I broke down." For a moment she couldn't look at him, assuming his expression would be disdainful and derogatory, but the one she found in those big, dark eyes shining out from strands of long black hair was understanding and compassion without pity.

"You're no idiot. It's alright to feel … hurt, by people you cared about once, even though you don't anymore. Also, your sisters wedding's coming up, which must be stressful," he raised an eyebrow and gave her a soft smile, leaving her feeling comforted as she sat, cross legged on the cold stone floor, although her head was pounding.

"A little. I don't want to think about it, it's too much," there was a period of silence that was still was nice, before footsteps and hushed whispers sounded on the stairs.

"All okay?" Marlene appeared, taking her usual stance on emotional turmoil by acting as if everything was fine. She kissed the top of Lily's head, dropped a bottle of water into her lap and went to take the cigarette out of Sirius' hand, having a drag and kissing his lips before returning it. Mary and Alice both came up after, sitting down on either side of Lily; Alice taking her hand and Mary giving her a half smile and a shoulder bump. Remus and Peter bought up the rear, Remus looking undeniably sheepish.

"Uh, Lil," he started, gaze flickering between Sirius and Peter. There seemed to be a collective groan, and Lily felt her stomach drop further, if that was at all possible. "We sort of heard you telling Padfoot what happened, and James was with us." Lily stood up, pale in the moonlight, and Alice leapt up too. Remus shrugged apologetically. "I really did try to stop him. Honestly,"

"If you're talking about James …" Frank's rich tone wafted up the stairs, and the two girls went to the banisters, leaning over and peering down. Alice's tall, neatly handsome boyfriend was looking up grimly, James leaning heavily against him, sporting a black eye and a bleeding lip. Lily gasped, and the horrified sound had the rest of the group crowding round. James managed to send them up a jaunty grin,

"If you think _I _look bad, you should check out the hospital wing," and laughed, before coughing, and wincing.

"Now would be a good time for us to return to the common room, I think," Marlene smiled blithely as she tripped down the steps, but her hands shook as she gripped the railing. She brushed her hands over her oldest friends face, and stood back to let Sirius take him under the other arm to Frank. Lily walked behind them; brow pinched into a worried frown, and started violently when Peter squeezed her arm.

"He's good at getting over stuff like this," he reassured her, and she covered his hand with her own briefly.

"I know. He's just never gotten into something like this over me," Remus gave her an irrediculous look, and even Mary shook her head. By they had returned to the Gryffindor tower, Lily had pulled her jumper sleeve to pieces.

Quietly, she followed Frank and Sirius up to the boys dorm, where they lay James down on his bunk. Having never been up there before, she glanced around whilst they settled him, and then Frank exited, patting her on the shoulder, and Sirius gave her an unexpected hug.

"I'll leave you to it," he muttered into her shoulder and released her, shutting the door unobtrusively behind him. Sighing, Lily sat on the edge of James' bed, and he turned to smile at her, reaching up a hand to delicately stroke her hair.

"You're a stupid, stupid git, you know that right?" A little of the anger she was feeling bit into her comment, but James just gave her his most winning smile, and retorted,

"But you love it. Plus, I'm your stupid git, so get over it," which made her smile, and she lowered her mouth softly to his. Feeling him deepen it, she pulled back, worried, and ran her thumb softly over his cut lip.

"It doesn't hurt," he whispered gruffly, fingers tangling in the back of her hair and pulling her down to him once again.

"But what if I catch it?" She asked against his mouth, not bothering to move away this time. Rather expertly, James moved so she was lying totally on top of him, and she let her hands trail down his stomach, over his shirt.

"You'll have to kiss it better," he cut off her giggle with another, hard kiss, and soon she wasn't thinking about his cut at all. Gently, she unbuttoned the shirt at high speed, and pulled it off him, throwing it to the floor. Rolling over, James pinned her beneath him and gave her a puzzled, playful look.

"You're far too good at that," Lily rolled her eyes, butterflies threatening to escape the confines of her stomach, and took off her own shirt just as quickly. His eyes grew wide, showing off their gold glints behind his glasses.

"See, I can do it to me too," she teased, touching her forefinger to his jaw. He hovered above her, cautious as she unzipped his trousers.

"Are you sure? Because believe me, I bloody well am, but-" He trailed off as she kicked off her skirt, and Lily managed to raise her eyebrows in a show of her ability to wield sarcasm in the most tense situations.

"I'm sorry you were saying?" And then they didn't say anything, because they were far too busy kissing.


	4. Chapter 4

Lily was jubilant. The day was fantastically bright, sunlight seeping into every crevice of the castle, cold and clear, and the sharp air felt like it cleared her head to toe. By the time she entered the dungeon for Potions last period, she was grinning, and caused Remus to jolt when she flung herself down beside him.

"You're chirpy," he grumbled, fixing her with a questioning look before dropping his head back onto the table. In front of them, Mary and James twisted in their seats,

"She's been like this all day," Mary smiled, being the most optimistic and happy of the group, and looked almost proud of Lily's ecstasy. James winked at her and rested his chin in his hand,

"I don't know if it's certifiable or not though. Maybe Padfoot slipped her something," Lily's laughter was cut short by Slughorn's entrance, at which she and Remus both straightened their backs, whilst James adopted the position Remus had held previously, and Mary sunk in her seat.

"Well well folks, nearly time for the holidays eh?" Slughorn beamed at them, chuckling, "So I thought we'd do something a little different, what d'you say?" When the class made a non-committal groaning noise, he laughed again, and took a tiny bottle of gold liquid from his pocket. It glistened in the light, and Lily's eyes widened. If that was what she thought that was …

"If you're not interested, I suppose I shan't be needing my prize bottle of Felix Felicis, then," the gasp was audible, and even James shot up in his seat. "Ah hah, so. Whomever I deem to have concocted the best Sleeping draught at the end of the hour receives my prize," setting the little bottle down on the table, Slughorn winked at Lily, who's heart was pounding, and threw his arms out. "Begin!"

There was instant chaos. It seemed as if the whole room had shrunk as people scrambled to get ingredients and begin. As Lily tried to reach the toad wart she needed through the throng of people, someone pressed something into her hand. Spinning around, she came face to face with Severus, and found he had handed her a cauldron full of all the ingredients she needed.

"There," he muttered, smiling slightly. Lily let the cauldron fall from her hand with a clang that could hardly be heard over the chatter in the room, and turned back to the cupboard, that was now more easily accessible, before marching over to her desk. Remus was staring at her intently, and James seemed to be working with a fever over his book, but Lily tried to ignore the clenching in her stomach and the laughter from the Slytherin table.

Her potion was working. The light silvery smoke was almost concealing the rest of the room, and when she stepped out of it, light headed, she could see no one else had achieved the same effect. A smile was beginning to form on her face when Slughorn shouted,

"Time is up, children! Be ready to show me your potions!" As he began weaving between the desks, Lily caught sight of James' cauldron. The potion was a dull grey, hardly smoking at all, but his fists were clenching tight, and Mary cast a worried look at her over her shoulder.

"You're going to win," Remus whispered, as Slughorn came ever closer. Grinning, she hissed,

"Oh Merlin, don't say things like that," but he shook his head at her and she couldn't help but think that, yes, maybe she was good enough.

"Good effort, Miss McDonald, and not too bad yourself, Potter," Slughorn looked up and saw Lily's cauldron. Her breath caught in her throat, but he removed the little gold bottle from his pocket and silently held it out to her. "Miss Evans, you astound me," she laughed, giddy, and accepted the little vial with shaking hands.

"Thank you, sir," and the day was re-made. Clearing up involved lots of congratulations and carefully avoiding Severus' eye, and trying not to wonder why James said,

"Well done," in such a soft, sad way, and touched her hand like that.

It was a huge relief, in the end, to emerge into the noisy corridor, and spot Severus and Marlene waiting beneath a window. When she walked over, Sirius glanced behind her, frowning.

"Why are Prongs and Moony talking to Slimy?" Before Lily had time to turn around, he was gone, slipping between Marlene's hissed,

"Wait," and the hand Lily placed on his arm. When she did, it was in time to watch Mary hovering close by, and the four boys walking opposite way.

"Leave it," Mary stepped in front of her, and Marlene tried to turn her back around, but Lily shrugged them off, following, a hollow dread mounting.

"Lily, please, don't," Marlene's plea fell on uncaring ears, and she waited for a moment before heading through a door they had gone into.

This is shit, I got major writers block, sorry! I'm just excited about the next bit, so I might re-do this and add some stuff later on. But I hope you enjoy, and thank you for favs and reviews! xoxo


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